Dumb, Dumb Dorothy
by Brenda Sutton
August 2000

My daughter Meri made me watch The Wizard of Oz while listening to Pink Floyd.  We tried really hard to get it to mesh, but it just didn't work. Thinking that it might have something to do with the drugs people used to "see all the pretty colors", I consumed the larger part of a large bottle of Zinfandel wine.  Then we watched Twister, and the lyrics of this song popped out whilst I was still fairly inebriated..

A, D, E-/A-D-/D, A, D-/A, D, E-/
A, D, E-/A-D-/D, A, D-/A, D, E, A/
D-A-/D-A-/D, A, D-/D-E-/

I've clicked my heels so many times.  I was a fool to grieve
For Flatland and the monochromes I now desire to leave.
I want my eyes to match my gown, to float the bubble tram,
And be where I know simply who I am.

Summon all the Gods of Air and let the wild wind howl.
I'll pitch my porch to the gray-green sky and ply the witch's trowel,
Put Kansas to my backside, and bid a swift farewell
To the dust and the hogs and the prairie corn sage smell.

Chorus:
I want to go where nothing's as it seems.
I want to sing and fight and laugh and dream.
I want my answers to be "Just because
That's the way in the merry old land of OZ."

Watch the windmill wheel and pitch and whistle up my ride.
I'm looking for that rainbow bridge I danced to the Emerald side.
I'd battle back to Wizard Town past fields of poppied snow,
Through a sky of flying monkeys for the colors that I know.

So suck me up the funnel, and send me back to OZ,
Set me on that Yellow Path to the land of Neverwas.
Give me my sweet man of straw and let my lion roar
'Til my heart beats like it's never beat before.

Chorus:
I want to go where nothing's as it seems.
I want to sing and fight and laugh and dream.
I want my answers to be "Just because
That's the way in the merry old land of OZ,
That's the way in the very old land of OZ."

Kansas is all right, yet it is not my only home.
I may visit now and then, but will always roam.
How ya gonna keep me down on the farm, after all I've seen?
Please let OZ be real and Kansas be the dream.

So hand me down my ruby shoes.  Oh, Glenda hear my cry!
I know I begged for sepia tone but now I don't know why.
I've learned the grass IS greener on the far side of the moon.
If I have my way I'll be covered in green real soon..
Oh, if I have my way I'll be up to green real soon...