Costumer's Lament
Music and lyrics by Brenda Sutton
© 1986

I  spent a good portion of my life behind a sewing machine creating costumes... sf, fantasy, Halloween, Renaissance... This song speaks to all those hours with my foot on the treadle... and it was filked by Bob Kanefsky. His version?  Eclectic Galactic Cuisines!

G C G / G D / G C Am / G D G
G C / G D / G C Am /
1. G D G
2. D G
3. D G D G
4. C G
5. C G (D)
6. C G / C D / G C / G D G

1. You want to dress up as Chewbacca's mom,
And you want to ride on a six foot Tonton.
Unfortunately, you aren't quite four feet tall;
I'll build you a stilt suit, and pray you don't fall.

Chorus (The chorus adds a new line with every verse.):

I'm a maker of dreams, a ripper of seams.
I'm a conventioning, costuming queen.
Pick any character in time or space --

  1.  I can create it with leather and lace
  2. And sequins and straps,
  3. And straight pins and paste, and three grains of nap,
  4. And Velcro™, and velvet, and glitter, and glue
  5. And outlines, and insets, and platforming shoes,
  6. And piano wire and hydraulic pumps,
    And parts you can find at the swap meet or dump.
    With planning and patience and money times two,
    You'll be surprised at the things I can do.

2. Feathers and fang are a combo that's new,
And it would be great if the thing really flew.
Other designers might find themselves stuck
If you asked them to make you a vampire duck.

3. All of the rage is for butterfly wings.
Everyone's asking for gossamer things.
Speaking as someone who's actually sewn 'em,
It would have been easier if I had grown 'em!

4. You're fresh out of money; I'm fresh out of time,
But we can still make you a costume sublime.
We'll put on some pasties, a g-string that's thin.
I hope you don't mind showing most of your skin.

5. I've burned out Berninas and Neccis and Singers.
I've calluses forming on all of my fingers.
With deadlines encroaching, I handle the stress
By sewing my hand to the hem of the dress.

6. The day that I joined in this costuming game,
I knew that my lifestyle would never be tame.
Let's dress up as aliens, hop in the car,
And frighten the drunks when we walk in the bar.