Pity Party
By Brenda Sutton
1994

This song is in no way meant as a slur upon the extraordinary acting ability of Ms. Sally Fields.  I've been a fan ever since The Flying Nun.  Please remember: the point-of-view character of this song is delusional.

Hear a recording of Pity Party on Three Weird Sisters Rite the First Time.

Verse: G B7 C D D7 G D7/ G B7 C Am A7 D/G G7 C B7/G B7 C/C D7 G D
Chorus: G B7 Em/C D7 G
Bridge: C D/D7 G/C B7/G D

I coulda been a contender if life hadn't dealt me dirt.
I woulda been a giant among men if my genes hadn't made me a female squirt.
I mighta built me a dynasty if taxes weren't so high.
I coulda woulda shoulda but I didn't didn't didn't
So no one will care when I die. (Sigh)

Chorus:
Wallow, wallow, wallow,
Wallow, wallow, wallow
Boo hoo hoo pout cry sniff
(sniff)
-Repeat

I woulda made the Olympic Team if I'd only learned how to skate.
I shoulda married Sean Connery, but I was born two decades too late (and I hate haggis!)
If Sally Fields can win an Oscar, I know I coulda done it too.
If I hadn't done the things I did with my life, there's no telling what I could do.

Chorus

Bridge:
It's not my fault I turned out like this, you mustn't criticize,
But Saturn has been retrograde since my birth,
and the sun's been in my eyes.
Waah, waah, waah, waah!

I woulda made a great dancer but I was born with two left feet.
You mustn't mind my bad temper, I'm PMS and I eat too much red meat.
In spite of all my short comings, I think I'm doing fine.
I've accomplished an awful lot in my life for someone who's out of her mind.

Chorus